Crap Joke fred.

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Which Tyler
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Which Tyler » Thu May 27, 2021 9:27 am

A dozen, a gross and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five time eleven
Is nine squared, and not a bit more

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Thu May 27, 2021 3:21 pm

I saw my teacher scribble that down on graph paper once, we knew he was plotting something.
At least it doesn't mention 288 - that would be two gross.

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Puja
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Puja » Thu May 27, 2021 3:31 pm

Galfon wrote:I saw my teacher scribble that down on graph paper once, we knew he was plotting something.
At least it doesn't mention 288 - that would be two gross.


{golf claps}

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Spiffy
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Spiffy » Sat May 29, 2021 2:05 am

Galfon wrote:I saw my teacher scribble that down on graph paper once, we knew he was plotting something.
At least it doesn't mention 288 - that would be two gross.


Bloke walks into a chemist's shop :

"I'll have 143 condoms please."
"Certainly sir, but why not have 144 - they're cheaper by the gross."
"What do think I am - a fekking sex maniac!"

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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Sat May 29, 2021 1:04 pm

A drug-dealer went to his GP for a prostate check-up.
The doctor was surprised to find a roll of fifty-pound notes tucked up his derriere.He counted 39 of these and informed the patient of the £1950 surprise discovery.
'"That explains why I've not been feeling two grand.." he replied.
Last edited by Galfon on Fri Jul 30, 2021 3:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Fri Jul 02, 2021 8:34 am

My wife wife left me recently due to my passion for guns and weaponry.
Fortunately I have been able to find comfort in the arms of another woman.

<kfc>
Last edited by Galfon on Fri Jul 02, 2021 4:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Buggaluggs » Fri Jul 02, 2021 3:34 pm

I just joined an autopsy club.

Thursday is open Mike night.

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Which Tyler
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Which Tyler » Wed Jul 28, 2021 1:33 pm

Plain White T.s: A thousand miles seems pretty far. But they've got planes and trains and cars.
The Proclaimers: They have what now?

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Fri Jul 30, 2021 9:47 am

Director to Actor disappearing through floorboards: "Are you Ok ?"
Actor: " Fine, it's just a stage I'm going through.."

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Puja
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Puja » Sat Aug 28, 2021 9:18 am

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Puja
Last edited by Puja on Tue Aug 31, 2021 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Tobylerone
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Tobylerone » Tue Aug 31, 2021 1:06 pm

I went to my Doctor, he told me I was crazy.

I said, "No, No, No, that can`t be right, I want a second opinion."

"Okay, Okay, you`re ugly as well."


Mel Brooks, I think.

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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby francoisfou » Wed Sep 01, 2021 1:52 pm

Which Tyler wrote:A dozen, a gross and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five time eleven
Is nine squared, and not a bit more


A mathematician named Hall
Had a hexahedronical ball
The cube of its weight
Plus its diameter times eight
Was four fifths of five eighths of fuck all

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Thu Sep 02, 2021 8:53 am

A boy was pleased to receive a new bat off his Dad for his birthday.
Unfortunately, just like the old one, when he opened the box
it flew away.

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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Sun Nov 28, 2021 1:22 pm

I'm not that keen on tighter mask wearing rules - steamed-up glasses and squished ears are a right nuisance already.. :(

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Puja
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Puja » Fri Dec 24, 2021 12:47 am

Do you prefer:
a) Mulled Wine
b) Mulled Cider
c) Mulled Beer
d) Mulled Gin?



This was a mulled tipple choice question.

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Fri Dec 24, 2021 12:06 pm

People are cutting back on Brussels sprouts this Christmas apparently.
The cost of gas is too high.

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Fri Dec 31, 2021 1:39 pm

An Englishman, an Englishman and an Englishman walk into a Nightclub..

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Wed Feb 02, 2022 8:58 pm

Man walks into a Butcher's:
Butcher: 'I bet a tenner you can't reach the two pieces of meat
up on that top tray..'
Man: 'I'm not betting - the steaks are too high.'

tim v.

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Wed Mar 30, 2022 5:39 pm

Saw a sheep driving a flashy car through the village the other day -
it was a lamb-orghini.

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Puja
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Puja » Wed May 11, 2022 2:14 am

In another 3028 years, there’s a chance that things will either be really good or really bad.

It’s 5050.

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Puja
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Puja » Fri Jun 10, 2022 6:08 pm

Map of Europe drawn from memory

capture2.jpg
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