Crap Joke fred.

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:51 pm

A bloke down the pub recently lent his best mate ten grand to get much needed cosmetic surgery done.
He's now moaning he can't get the money back - he hasn't the foggiest idea what he looks like.
( kfc )

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:24 pm

I went to the Greengrocer to get an onion for my casserole. He only had a small shrivelled looking one left on display-
"Is that all you've got ?"  I asked.
"Yes, that's shallot..." he said.
(tony b)
 

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Thu Aug 29, 2019 9:01 pm

Five fi' Fringe 19, that registered on the Crapometer: :)

1-Did you hear about the flea that went to the moon ? ..Lunatic.
[Felix & the Scootermen]

2- In his job my dad’s never lost a case. That makes him Gatwick’s top baggage handler.
[Glenn Moore]

3- My mate came second in a Winston Churchill lookalike competition. He was close, but no cigar.
[Goose]

4- After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging..
[Richard Pulsford]

5- To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian..
[Mark Simmons]

Adder
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Adder » Fri Sep 20, 2019 3:42 pm

Trudeau jokes are outImage

Sent from my Redmi Note 7 using Tapatalk

Adder
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Adder » Fri Sep 20, 2019 3:43 pm

"Caramba! I should've known it was Justin Trudeau!"Image

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Buggaluggs
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Buggaluggs » Fri Sep 20, 2019 6:56 pm

My local shop keeper is being hailed a hero. He took on a robber armed only with his label gun.

Police said the man got away. But there's a price on his head.

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Puja
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Puja » Sat Sep 21, 2019 9:03 pm

I keep getting the words yakuza and jacuzzi confused. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

Puja
Backist Monk

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Galfon
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Galfon » Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:13 pm

What might you get If you cross Elton John with a fish ?

a Piano Tuna.

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Puja
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Puja » Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:40 pm

It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub.

It's a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

Puja
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Buggaluggs
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Buggaluggs » Thu Oct 10, 2019 7:39 pm

Puja wrote:It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub.

It's a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

Puja


Very good.
Image

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Which Tyler
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Which Tyler » Wed Oct 16, 2019 1:07 pm

A Scotsman walks into a bar...

Usually he'd be joined by an Englishamn, an Irishman and a Welshman - but they're all still in Japan

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Puja
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Puja » Wed Oct 16, 2019 2:25 pm

FB_IMG_1571232322070.jpg
FB_IMG_1571232322070.jpg (15.19 KiB) Viewed 1597 times


Puja
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Mellsblue
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Re: Crap Joke fred.

Postby Mellsblue » Thu Oct 17, 2019 5:28 pm

Pillaged straight from Tindall on House of Rugby, with a small change so it makes sense:

What’s the barrier stopping a Tier 2 side becoming a Tier 1 side?
Hadrian’s Wall.


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